© everlark
emilythesmelly:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

reblogging for the story

emilythesmelly:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

reblogging for the story


barackfuckingobama:

zeldea:

why cant americans just use celsius it’s so much easier to spell than feiehreirheineiheit

do you mean degrees of FREEDOM


#'merica     ♡  28350
 

 ♡  17201
 
rufflebutts:

to bet on it or not to bet on it that is the question

rufflebutts:

to bet on it or not to bet on it that is the question


#lol     ♡  9657
 


newly-poly-nyc:
…Harry had more of Voldemort’s soul in him than Voldemort himself had.

newly-poly-nyc:

…Harry had more of Voldemort’s soul in him than Voldemort himself had.


 ♡  14160
 

#for mariah     ♡  1727
 

 ♡  111676
 

 ♡  48801